Change in Seasons

A relationship is like seasons of the year. You have your moments of pure happiness, new things are happening and everything is going perfect. Then Things intensify. Youre romantically involved and the heat and the passion just come like rapid fire. Slowly you start realize things are getting stagnant. Things are just boring and you start to get confused and unsure of what to do next .But finally, winter comes. and youre now just feeling the cold Things are not good. Or the good times are like spring days in the winter months. And then the year begins again. Its confusing. You wanna just give up so badly. You think it would be that much easier to just say thats it, you done, your tapping out. Its just so hard. You know that you can probably have summer again but it looks further and further away and the winter air just swallows you whole.It feels like youre trapped in a place so not familiar but you dont know if getting out will just make you feel like youre in limbo. You remember a better time, a happier time when you knew nothing of what you know now. Thats the place you want to got to. But can you reach there again? are you too far down? Is this now all just pointless? If this has happened to you, be sure to message me with any ideas, questions or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!
Keeping Things Peppermint


Broken Promises

Its something when you don’t realize that the person that was ruining the relationship you had with your boyfriend was not your boyfriend but your own self. When someone was just being so nice to you and giving all the attention you could have ever want but you don’t even realize that that person is right in front of you, you break down and cry. That is exactly what I did tonight. You constantly throughout the relationship wonder whats wrong with him? Why is he not like the others? Why do I feel unhappy with him? These are the questions I constantly asked myself in the beginning of my relationship. I subconsciously knew I was but I could never really bring myself to formally ask these questions aloud. From the start I knew I was being mean. I just did it anyway. I thought, guys treat girls like this and girls treat guy a certain way. I honestly thought I was nice. Most times, I honestly thought that I was always putting him before I and had his best interest at heart and really, most of the times I truly did. It was those sometimes that I would forget that he really just cares about me. That he really just is trying to help. That he really was being nice that I would forget that he was human and I would treat him like he was not. I was a very mean girlfriend. I honestly remember times where I would honestly just give him the worst silent treatment because he was just trying to help but I was having a bad day. He tells me I cut him off a lot for pointless reasons at times and I subconsciously get mad at him because I feel like my words are more important than his. I tell him petty little things that are wrong, restricting him from the things that he enjoys and the fun he wants to have because he does not care as much and I want my way a little more often than him. I honestly was horrible and it only affected us and yet I wondered, what was wrong with him. I feel so stupid. I wanted him to change so much to the person I was forgetting that I don’t like myself very much, and he did. He changed into a cold person. He changed to a caring boyfriend who had a quick temper that was never there before, a sometimes hard to communicate with and overall happy person but only when he was with me. That’s when I realize, he was perfect; all along, he was one of the best people I could ask for but I could not see it. I thought I was now happy and I was getting closer to him but all along he just wanted to spend more time with me but we were having less quality time together. It was not until I was reading aloud our past messages that I had realized, the very thing that he became was a product of me. I made his heart cold, I changed what we argued about, I made him realize that everything was a problem just like me. And I started treating him like this at least a month after we met. So as I continued reading our past messages, I wanted the old him back. I wanted what made him so easy to talk to, I wanted everything I destroyed back and I wanted someone who was not me. And I think that’s what made us work in the start, it was because he was not me. I never liked who I was. But the thing is that I changed him. The only way to make sure that I get him back is to become the person he was and in doing so, change who I am now to make him see that I was never good for him but I want to start being the best he could ask for and finally be as happy as I could be.

WE Are Never, Ever, Ever, Being Friends Again!

Woah! Has it been one full year since I made this into a real blog?!?! Well I come back with a some juicy stories to share :). But, ah, ah, ahhh. Not all at one post will I be sharing these fantastic stories! I will reveal it to you one at a time, take things slow, like peeling an orange. You know, ease you into things.

As you can tell by the title, this story has some back story to it, and what better way to tell you then to jump right into it.

It all started when I met this girl…we will call her Felisha. She, and another girl, all were friends in first year. We had some really good times. Parties, clubs, birthdays, you name it, we were drunk. We talked, we skyped she went away, came back. Overall, I had a ton of fun with this girl. But see the problem is that I always thought she was better than me. She got most of the guys, (im hot but shes got big boobs-no match with that) and she was closer friends with that other person. But I was always kind to her. Mind you, I dont have a lot of friends in the first place (im bothered by people pretty quickly) so it is not that I was crazy but I just really valued her friendship. But thats the thing, I dont think that she was really my friend. And ladies and gents, this is where our problem begins………….

It was Felisha’s birthday and i was not legal at the time. She was supposed to come over and hang out with me at my house and head over to the other friends house to have a big going out thing with the legals. I was 100% cool but still bummed I could not attend. So its her b-day and I get up early (cleaned the night before) and the time she was supposed to be at my house came…and past. I was so confused. Tried calling her, texting, facebook msging…but to no avail. By 7pm, I pretty much knew she was not coming over anymore (she was gonna stay over but she was supposed to be there at 11am). So, I was sad. felt pissed and betrayed as well. But im sure she had an explanation. No worries. But see, the thing was that even the next day, I could not get a hold of her. But low and behold, I saw the latest snaps from snap chat and I knew, I was ditched. We did not talk for the rest of the summer. (Happened in mid august) It was not till mid September that she would apologize. Her excuse you ask? She was not familiar with my neighborhood and was too embarrassed to ask and was too confused. Then she was to embarrassed to apologize to me sooner. Okay, no worries, I understand. The GTA is so confusing coming from a different big city. Its okay. I forgive 🙂 We had a blast for my b-day and all was well. But see now, we had not really talked till I said I was gonna go up to see her…
It was mid February, reading week. My collage was heading up to her city. And I was excited to party it up with her. It was awesome to be seeing her again. Like the good old times! I stayed at a hotel so I said she could stay with me instead of going home from the club. We were gonna have a blast. And we did! The first night was ah-maze-ballz. We got drunk, hit the casino, the club, we got guys to buy u drinks, we especially looked hot. It was perf end to the start of the trip. Next day hits. We go out, shopping food and pre. Kinda like gym, tan laundry but for lazy people. I thought we were gonna have the best time (it was my last night there) like the first. The she utters the words: my friend is so gonna get us into a place if you wanna go. Im like hells ya! But in my head, i knew nothing good could come from this. Night falls, and were on our way via her friends car. Mind you, my bf has no clue where she was getting me into but because he was not with me, he just said have fun. We get to some girls house. She was a total ass. But I was polite. Felisha was ignoring me the whole time we were there. I have nothing in common with the people that were there and im bored out of my mind. We spent 2 hrs there till the girls mom took us to a dive bar (pretty much). It was soooo boring. I just wanted to go back to the hotel. But she did not so i stayed. (taxi back was 20$) I stayed….and i stayed and then it got packed. Im 90% she tried to ditch me at one point. (they were all drunk). So ill tell you something bout my self, this year, i started to get mild panic attacks that she knew about. So when i said to her, I want to go, im not feeling good, and she said, well you can taxi back your self, I wanted to die. I spent about 4 hrs at this bar before I said fuck it and just left. It was so hard to go back and feel okay (I got worse as the night went on). Falling asleep was very hard that night. And all i kept thinking was why did I not just stay at the hotel with the froshies I came with! When I did wake up, she had come back to the hotel in the morning to grab her things (she ended up staying at a friends that night) and she told me that she was sorry and an ass. I was too pissed. Even threw away her disgusting thong she left behind as a ha! to her (i know, it did nothing to her). I was just so over the last night that I did not care about who did what with whom. The trip was a failure. And we did not talk till mid summer for the girl that i mentioned before b-day. This summer was the first time is saw her in months. It was crazy. At this point, she apologized to me again and we had a long talk about how she just needed to be my friend. Thats all I wanted. I truly just wanted her to be as nice to me as I was to her. But I guess thats just too much for a girl to ask. But she did say sorry and we were okay again. Actually had fun at this girls party. It was nice. And we were friends again. Talked on the phone all night, she came down to see me and my bf and partied with us. It was hella good times. We were great again and thats all I ever wanted right? Till I decided to plan a trip…
This summer, I wanted to get away. So I invited a few people and planned a trip. It was great. Felisha was invited. The trip although did not go as planned. No not what your thinking. On the night before the day we were gonna leave, she went out…excessively drank and did not wake up till we were all about to go. Now anyone with a hangover knows to just push through. You gotta do what you gotta do. Now this trip cost money to plan so when it was 1hr before we were going, she text me saying she was not coming. No you all may be like why do you care? it was her money? she was sick!. But see, she promised she would come. She said she would be there and she was not. She also knew that i put time into planning the trip and I was so excited that we were going away so it was very important to me. She also knew that I would be the only girl there with 3 other guys…talk about boring. She really let me down. And on top of all that, she never answered my texts that night either. SO at this point, I was so fed up, I did not even have fun on my trip. It sucked. And I wondered why I was still friends with her. She made it really hard to still be friends with her. Like really hard to the point where I did not want to be her friend anymore. I get back from the trip and, you remember that girl I mentioned before? The girl we were all friends from first year with? Yeah, shes important. The only person I told that i did not wanna be Felishas friend any more to was my bf. And he would obv never tell her that . But I had a lapse in judgement and forgot that if i tell that girl anything, she tells the world………….so the night i told her, at a really late time, Felisha msgs me saying fuck off. Well, i knew at that moment, our friendship was over. Sre was drunk msging me apparently but never had she ever said that to me and im so done with the tedious back and forth

Some would say why dont you giver her another chance, she was youre good friend, you shared so much. WHat I would say to them is this: She will never change. Thats the thing. I can try and be her friend but at one point, who is the one who will end up being hurt in the end. And if you have read my other posts before, you would know that I give people way too many chances. So I over it. Unless she truly comes to realize that she never really was my friend, I could not be hers any more. As for blabber mouth, I could never say anything that wont reach whomever so its best to get rid of the toxicity then to keep it roaming.

Anyways, the job hunt continues for me. Maybe I will learn which friends are keepers and which gotta go sooner. If this has happened to you, be sure to message me with any ideas, questions or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!
Keeping Things Peppermint
ps: thanks for reading. I really pored my heart out on this post! and sorry if theres any spelling mistakes. I was too lazy to fix… 😀

Lets “Spring” into Action!

Hey everyone!
Its been such a ccooold winter. I cant believe were in the positives again! Winter was a horrible time to do anything outside (unless you love winter sports) but I was getting some serious summertime sadness. I missed you all! Ive been really slacking on updates and posts but blame the winter months for that! I will be excited to finally be doing way more this up coming summer and super excited to be sharing it all with you. Im taking action with my life and my blogs. I started this blog last summer and last summer was really fun so I dont want it to be any different.This summer will be all about posting for whatever reason I feel like i want to. Some really cool things are happening like Osheaga and perhaps trips to the US, hopfuly a new job and some awesome chill dates with my bf. Things with be…awesome. So Im glad i can update you on all that has been happening and Im gonna keep this short and let you know when we will be having some fun real soon!
If you have any questions, be sure to message me with any ideas, or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!

Keeping Things Peppermint

Travel and Hubbub Bubas

Sitting on the subway I can’t help but notice the diversity. Old, young, middle eastern, Caucasian, it’s all here. I feel so privileged to come from such a mulch-cultural city. Toronto is so diverse and rich in life that its actually really nice to feel like you are a part of it. I love it so much.
I’ve always wanted to move to a city in which you can walk down the street and see performers or be able to stop at festivals randomly happening on your way to work because it would seam like so much fun! My love for cities like this I think came from my love of adventure. Just figuring out what to do next is something that I have never had a problem with. Being able to get a sub at 3 am down in New York, go out the the new art gallery opening up in San Fransisco or visiting Orlando Florida’s amusement park is just some of the  exciting things that cities have to offer
My dream is to live in all my favorite cities at least for a few months. I want to be able to work eat all i can in Venice, view all the awesome-ness Tokyo has to offer and travel to the Bermuda and see if i will too vanish into thin air. Not many people get to have these chances. Most cannot afford the luxury of getting up and jetting off to Milan for a year or two. For those who do, they may want to do a bunch of traveling when they are younger and settle down with their family only to live in the same house for the rest of their lives by the age of 30. To me, thats just boring. Theres a ton of awesome experiences waiting for me. I dont want to be stagnant with my travels. I want to see the world. I want to be able to know what its like to be so emerged in culture that it fuels my drive to learn multiple languages. To me, thats awesome.
This passion of mine is not something I want to keep to my self. How awesome would it be if you can share your ideas and love with someone who feels the same way as you. To experience all things awesome then ask the person beside you if they just saw what just happened. It is something that i dont think is far in my life. whats truly awesome is the fact that if you focus your life on achieving these things, you dont have to worry about how you will finance it, it will all come to you.
I dont know. Im excited for the future. I guess i went on a little rant but I know that theres no where but up from here on and I believe that if you think about  lot of things like this, you too will see it like so. If you believe all the same things, be sure to message me with any ideas, questions or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!

Keeping Things Peppermint

To Think or Not to Think

   Thoughts is something that you can call your own till the day you die. I don’t think that anyone can control your thoughts because you have freedom to dream however you want. It’s something that I think I love and if you sit down and really think, your words can have action and effect on other people’s lives.

    My thoughts in the beginning of January was altered. It was not altered by anyone else but my own. I felt trapped. Chained to the conventions of my mind. I had experienced something that no one can just describe to someone for them to completely understand. It was as if my body and my head was detached from my thoughts and I could not speak without also thinking very intensely. Every task, every move became over calculated and tremendously tiresome. I could not focus, I felt dizzy and I had an over all feeling of just not my self. It’s like I had no emotion and was just a robot not being able to make conscience decisions. Everyday became a struggle of will I be able to just go on because I did not know what was happening. I just did not feel right. (Side note, never call telehealth. They are useless and they will just say go to a hospital via ambulance. Waste of time) This whole January sucked. I lost my appetite and I could not even form a sense of memory. There was no motivation and I was just purely sad all the time.

   I could attribute this to being on the pill. I started taking it and then felt horrible but I had been on it for 6 months so I did not think it had much affect but still I went off it to make sure it was not the main cause. I can attribute it to the fact that everything in my life felt like it was changing. I recently found someone and I’ve been going out with this person for a few months. Also I had not been going to school much making changes to my life drastically. I could attribute this feeling to the fact that this is just my hormones acting up. Or i can attribute this to the fact that i had a terrible weed trip and it felt like I’d never be the same. I have no clue but the important thing is that I had to talk about it.

    If at anytime I felt very down or like I just needed to make sure I could still talk, I talked about it. If at anytime I needed to just complain about longing for the time I used to be sane, I’d talk about it. I think it is so important to be able to talk to some one because not everyone can make it through on their own. If you see someone down or just not looking like their usual self, talk to them. You never know what they are going through. You never know what issues they them self are dealing with. It makes me so sad that this happened to me. I thought everything I knew was upside down. But it really helped to talk about it.

   I still kinda feel a bit weird. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget this happened to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back to my normal but I’m glad that in some way I remember what I used to feel like. These are just my thoughts and trust me, I think a lot.
If you have ever had one of these moments, be sure to message me with any ideas, questions or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!

Keeping Things Peppermint

Happy New School Year!!!

It’s a new school year and classes have started! This past week I was doing frosh and helping out the first years transition to university for York U. Might I say, frosh is an awesome experience that I think everyone should have the chance to go to. If you are in grade 12 and this is your last year, I encourage frosh! If you missed out on frosh, no worries, there are tons of ways to meet new people at York and if you did frosh, Im glad for you. During my frosh, I met a few of my best friends now and I thank the lord that I have them in my life. They not only are there for me but they make me laugh… A lot… But enough about that, lets talk about school. Im going into my second year (WOOT) and I am so excited because this year, things will be different. I want to focus on my academics way more than before. I was a huge procrastinator (and sorry it took so long for me to make a new post ) but being one, I learned. I learned that shit piles up, FAST! Its something that we all should know right? But fact is that even though I know this, I still have this issue. So I want a change. This year I want to focus on work (when I get a job) and school. It’s a goal of mine to not get any c’s this year. I need to do better if I ever want to be a nurse! Regardless, I know what I have to do and Im very happy that I have changed my thinking.
I wanna know how your year is different from last so, be sure to message me with any ideas, questions or whatever you feel like saying! I am somewhat of a internet junkie and so I will try and reply quickly but other than that, I will write soon so, Till Next Time!!

Keeping Things Peppermint